As I fly across the country tonight, I reflect back and think about my day – a random Tuesday in January, which use to be such a slow time in my life. Things never got busy until the big months, the March-August times when things use to be just wide open and every day seemed like a fire drill. Now, as I cross over millions of homes relaxing, I am still working. It is what I call “running with the blinders on.” I do not have a care in the world about what is happening on the ground under me but just like a racehorse runs without a clear vision of what is in front of them – I am drowning out the noise of the world and moving as fast-paced as I can from day-to-day.
Days use to get measured as “today was a win” or “today was a tough one – let’s start over tomorrow.” But the emotions seem to be compounded where literally every day seems like there are multiple victories and also going along with it are multiple upsets. It really is fine. I guess that things are moving at a much more rapid pace than even I have ever felt before, but I think that just is a sign that there is more going on each day. There seems to be less time to enjoy a win because there always seems to be a challenge lurking around the corner. Though, I think that if I am being totally honest, I enjoy the challenge just as much as I enjoy the wins. When you have the blinders on, you really don’t let either one of them (wins/losses) get in your way. You are simply moving as fast as possible to everything and anything to elevate your level of play.
Then there is the people aspect of winning and losing. You feel compelled to share the wins with everyone around you – everyone who had a hand in fostering the win. But the losses you want to keep under the rug or tucked away in a corner where no one ever has to deal with them but you. This is probably not the best idea for my long-term sanity, but it seems to work and really doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it did 10 years ago. Wanting to praise people for the victories and wanting to shield people from the fear of loss/defeat in my mind means I never want anyone to have to experience some of the agonies that I deal with and endure. Sometimes, I think to myself that I wish people around me knew the real beauty of what it is like to run with the blinders on – it can sure make life a whole lot more enjoyable.
Then there are the people who want to talk down about you – yet they never or have never had the guts to talk about anything to you. These are the people that are secretly rooting for your failure. They are the ones, some even who act like friends but deep down inside want to see you blow up into a million pieces because they are so amazed at how miserable at life they have become. They have no problem bashing you to other people or publicly cheering on others who are pitting themselves against you. This is where the blinders go into overdrive. If someone is so upset by what you say and what you do that it consumes them – then they have clearly lost control of their own life, just like a racehorse that never was able to get out of the starting gate.
Running with the blinders on is truly a beautiful way to go through life. You only care about 2 things: running faster and getting to the finish line.