Don’t ever be scared to try new things.

Last night, while packing my bag for a quick business trip, I had about a 10-second brain lapse where I forgot where I was going the next day. It is an important thing for me to remember because, depending on who I am going to see, I always try to dress the part.

For brand new clients or prospects, I tend to dress very conservatively with not a lot of flash. Simple colors, simple patterns, absolutely nothing that is over the top. But, for people I know and may have worked with for a very long time, sometimes my appearance may take a walk on the wild side.

This isn’t a fashion blog, but to make a point of reference I was packing somewhat conservatively because part of my upcoming trip was to meet someone that I have never met before with a proposition to win all of their business, not just the part we had been doing. After my brain refocused, I started going through my head with what I was going to say in the meeting, things to remember as key points about their business, and the whole nine yards of what you do to prepare for a new business meeting. After playing these scenarios through, while packing a change of shirts and socks, it was time to zip my bag up with the last thing to go in – it’s always my bathroom kit. While placing the kit in my bag, I thought back to what it used to be like to be “scared” or timid before meetings like this one. Years ago, there were a lot fewer of them and each one seemed to bring on a little more anxiety.

That gave me a great reminder – something my dad use to always say before a big meeting. “Don’t be scared. It isn’t like they are going to eat you if you mess up.” Not being scared to meet new people and try new things is what fuels business growth. No, even I don’t get but about half of the new opportunities I get in front of, so you will have to accept a decent amount of failure in these endeavors. But never, ever be scared of them. It is what makes life fun and keeps things interesting.

To look at a calendar from a year ago to today is like being on a different planet. This day last year was ruled by uncertainty, fear, and feeling like there was nothing you could do about anything. Which is a complete 180 from where we sit today with everything rocking and rolling at a record pace. There is no doubt the difference between what was happening a year ago and what is happening today definitely makes you thankful for everything in your life.

It is also amazing all that you can handle if you really make yourself focus. From buying and selling things, working on new and big deals, and building a level of talented people so interested in success that they become unstoppable is what my focus has been and has me thriving. Even when I take a moment (or a week) to chill out on spring break with my family, I still find my mind working at warp speed. And it’s not working at warp speed on problems, but working on how things can be better and what some of the next moves are going to be.

You always need to take time to take a break. Something I really didn’t believe in and had a hard time doing throughout most of my career but have come to believe in the importance of taking time to not only take a break for myself, but to give others a break from me. That may sound a little like a farce but not just giving myself space but giving other people space has really made a difference in the speed and ability that people want to achieve.

Taking a minute to chill also gives me time to just be thankful. Again, something that I used to have a hard time doing because I was always looking for more. Now, even as more still becomes more… it is fun to take a moment and take it all in.

This is a quote that I heard this week while traveling to see clients. It made me stop and put some things into perspective, as I had never heard this or its meaning before and thought it was a noble enough piece worth sharing.  

A lot of times people will ask ,“are you doing well?” And usually, the answer – even when it isn’t necessarily the truth – is that you are well. But people always have struggles that others never know about, and probably to be truthful, do not care about. There are things causing fear, creating faults, and causing people to not live by a guiding set of principles that often are never visible to the outside world. But the simple question of “are you doing well” is simply a way to say hello to someone and at least give off the inclination that you care about them.

In this context, and the way it was explained to me, “doing well” has an entirely different approach from the normal salutation. You are doing well because you have spent your time and effort trying to do good. Doing good can be difficult sometimes especially when you are doing good for other people and some of the people perceive that nothing you do is good and can find a lot of fault with you. To do good, you have to have your heart and your mind in the right place. You have to understand and accept what you are doing and why, and be at peace with it. Without these two in tandem, the level of good that you are doing will be insurmountable.

To truly be “doing well,” in my mind, is a place where you have conquered your fears, accepted your faults, believe in yourself and those around you, and have lived by principles that caused you to do good. And not just do good for yourself, but to do good for other people. Once you have done good for others, done a good job at truly knowing and accepting who you are, then you can truly be “doing well.”

My job is all about finding and nurturing talent.  

Sometimes, you find talent in the weirdest places or at a time when you really don’t think that you need it, but BAM! It just hits you right square in the eyes. Talent comes in all forms of people, and sometimes from where you least except to see it. I have seen talent develop over the years from a receptionist in the beginning to now one of the top leaders in the company, forming over decades. Talent has grown from another individual who was tormented in one role but when moved to another job where their skillset could really be unleashed, they have run circles around everyone around them. In myself, not that I think of myself as talented. I still see the 22 year old showing up to work an hour and a half on the first day, without a clue what was supposed to be done but only interested in proving that he could outwork everyone. Then going on to grow a business really without much of a plan, only the mindset that there was always more to do.  

Other times, you see talent go the opposite direction. You meet someone with such promise and desire. This person is eager and always on go and ready to help. But over time, you only start to see problems compounded by problems that end up totally changing this person’s trajectory. There are people who  show they have what it takes and have the fire down below to grow, and they go over time to accomplish great things. You think this person is literally unstoppable, but they let a person or a comment or a situation totally derail them. One simple moment will forever change the success this person could have had. They shrink into a pit of “everybody” is out to get me and “I am greater than everyone around me,” and it implodes their ability, and they end up either quitting or leaving. Then, there are those who you know have talent but from day-one it is kind of “them against the world,” and because they have the desire and ability you let them run. You want to see what they can do even when those around you question this person or flat out cannot work or want to communicate with this person. This maybe is the hardest of talented people to accept because for you they do all that you want them to do, BUT they cannot get along with others and will not accept the fact that it takes great teamwork to do great things.  

When I think about all the types of talent that doesn’t succeed, it all comes back to some reason that these individuals simply cannot get out of their own way. They all have (or had) what it takes, but they let some factor cause them to be stifled or felt there was something in their path that they could not move. I wont say that it doesn’t bother me anymore to see this, because years ago these experiences use to throw me into mental anguish. Distraught over the time I spent with these people only to see them fail at the mission planned for them. Now, I have come to realize that I cannot help those who can’t seem to find a way out of their own way.  

My saving grace in why I didn’t end up like this was because of a great mentor. A mentor who would motivate me, encourage me, build me up all along to be able to do what I aspired to do. This mentor was so great that he would also tear me down piece by piece and never allow me to blame anyone for something that I had control over. I was never allowed to get in my own way, and that is what makes the difference.

In my list of 7 goals for the year, goal #3 was “Eliminate any distractions in life not vital to success.” I thought about this one before putting it down on paper because it did mean that some things in my life would have to go this year. Also, the quote isn’t totally mine alone; I heard a speech a few years ago where Nick Saban said something similar about taking anything out of your life that wasn’t allowing you to be your best.

To me, distractions come in several forms.

First, there are people. I have always been taught and thoroughly believed that I was in the people business. People buy the product that I am selling and people create the product that I sell, so I live in a world revolving around people. But sometimes, you have a set of people in your life that simply distracts you from the task at hand. They do or say things, either to you or about you, and when it makes it back to you – the time spent mentally thinking about them is simply no good. So sometimes, you have to take people out of your lives who are distracting your mental power to perform at the level you want to perform at. There have been several times this year with friends and some family that I have chosen to eliminate from my thoughts simply because they are not and probably never will be willing to help me succeed. That may sound a little heartless but I find myself in a place where I want all the time to myself that I can get, and if you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem. And problems have to go. Plus, these are the type of friends/family that never offered to pay for dinner, buy the beer, or come pick you up to go somewhere, so see ya later.

Next, there are habits. I used to enjoy habits like sleeping in a little on the weekends or looking at Facebook at night before going to sleep. Now, I have started waking up early on the weekends to read my work emails, send follow-up notes, and when I do go to Facebook, I  usually go there because I am looking for someone or specifically at something. Also, things like alcohol use to be a bigger distraction. Everybody loves to have a couple of drinks or unwind after work (which I still do), but not to the extent that I used to. By limiting the days or the amount of alcohol, I have found that I am much more functional and on top of my game even more than before. The truth is that I really like it. Being more focused and paying more attention to everything gives me a great feeling. Better than that of a habit that had no great rewards.

Lastly, there is the mental trap. I used to get angry at situations or issues that would occupy my thoughts. Sometimes, I would think about them for days, and there was no outcome that was going to be productive for me in any way. So, by not allowing these things into my mind and simply accepting situations or issues for what they are, I find there is a whole lot more of my time and energy to expend in other areas. Focusing on things you can do something about or how to make situations better for people in the future rather than harping on what went wrong in the past has taken a big set of distractions out of my mind and freed me up from being in a mental trap.

So, to sum everything up: Dump your friends/family that create drama, put down your Facebook account and the beer can, and don’t harp on situations that linger in your mind. Get things in and out that do not help your ability to be successful.

Eliminate your distractions and you will be surprised at what all you can accomplish.

You go through life every day, and you sometimes feel like nothing can ever surprise you. There’s not going to be anything in any given day that’s going to shock you or change your outcome of how you go about your day.

But then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, somebody gives you something out of a simple conversation you had with the most unsuspecting person to create such a gift that you’re just blown away and truly at a loss for words.

I was getting my hair cut the other week, and the person who cuts my hair has really become a good friend of mine. We talk about life, our kids, current events, the country, everything going on in our daily lives. One thing that goes on a lot in my life is hunting. I’ve always loved to hunt. I grew up hunting, I’m now starting to take my kids hunting. Hunting is part of the fabric of my existence and my life. While getting my hair cut and talking about hunting, I made the comment that I was out of ammo for my rifle. I only had three shells left. Luckily, deer season was ending, and I wouldn’t need any more until next year. My hairdresser said, “My husband probably knows where to find some ammo. Tell me what kind you want, and I’ll see if he can get it.”

I kind of shrugged it off in disbelief because, in the year 2021 with everything that’s gone on in the world like Covid, riots, and raids on the Capitol, finding ammunition is one of the hardest things to do. So, I shrugged it off and kept talking, and she said again, “No, seriously, tell me what kind of ammo. My husband is really into guns and can probably find it.”

I get a call last night. Her husband has not only found the ammo but has bought me four boxes of it. When I try to repay the favor, she simply won’t take the money. It’s the kind of surprise that completely blew me away and is a great reminder that sometimes it’s great to show up in people’s lives with something that is such a big surprise to them that you absolutely leave them speechless.

I absolutely loved the first part of the year. It’s such a refreshing time to reset, get refocused, and make new plans for the remainder of the year. I always do it with a very positive mindset because I know that attitude is everything, and good things happen to good people.

As I go through every day, I have to deal with a balance. There’s a balance of how much you do in all aspects of your life and what it takes to get the most out of every day, every situation, and every person that you come in contact with. Keeping it all balanced can be very difficult. It can be difficult because sometimes you want to move faster than other people are willing to move.

Sometimes, you have objects that are in your way that you need to figure out how to move. And other times, you can’t seem to get yourself to slow down enough to actually enjoy what all it is you’re doing.

It’s hard to keep a balance when you want everything to happen yesterday. It’s hard to keep a balance when you’re trying to get more out of people than they probably know they can give. It’s hard to keep a balance when every day you feel like you’re ready to play in the Super Bowl, and some people don’t even know there’s a game going on. But I think the art of keeping it balanced is when you can accomplish everything that you want to, get everything that you can out of those around you, and go home at the end of every day and feel accomplished in what you’ve done. It creates a very positive mindset, a very good life, and it just makes everything more fun.

As I go through life in living day-to-day, it’s starting to become real that people come and go in all areas of your life. Some you’re really happy to see enter your life. You’re happy to be around them. You enjoy their company, the friendship, the relationship, the caring and compassion that they share with you and vice versa. Then sometimes, people leave and you miss that.

They leave for whatever reason. Either your paths grow apart, or your interests no longer align. Sometimes, people leave simply because they don’t like you or something that you’ve done, or maybe how you run your company or live your life. As I was thinking about this over the week, it seems like, with every flip of the calendar, the amount of people who enter and exit my life always seems amplified. While up early this morning, reflecting on the day and the week I’ve had, I started thinking that sometimes your life may just feel like a Southwest Airlines plane.

Southwest has a great motto that says they put passengers on and off a plane faster than any airline in the industry. They fly from city to city picking up and dropping off people. They do it 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. As I reflect on recent people both entering and now exiting my life, I couldn’t help but laugh to myself this morning that I’m almost like a Southwest Airlines plane. Moving around at a very fast rate of speed, taking people on, letting people off, but smiling and loving life throughout the process.

As I fly across the country tonight, I reflect back and think about my day – a random Tuesday in January, which use to be such a slow time in my life. Things never got busy until the big months, the March-August times when things use to be just wide open and every day seemed like a fire drill. Now, as I cross over millions of homes relaxing, I am still working. It is what I call “running with the blinders on.” I do not have a care in the world about what is happening on the ground under me but just like a racehorse runs without a clear vision of what is in front of them – I am drowning out the noise of the world and moving as fast-paced as I can from day-to-day.

Days use to get measured as “today was a win” or “today was a tough one – let’s start over tomorrow.” But the emotions seem to be compounded where literally every day seems like there are multiple victories and also going along with it are multiple upsets. It really is fine. I guess that things are moving at a much more rapid pace than even I have ever felt before, but I think that just is a sign that there is more going on each day. There seems to be less time to enjoy a win because there always seems to be a challenge lurking around the corner. Though, I think that if I am being totally honest, I enjoy the challenge just as much as I enjoy the wins. When you have the blinders on, you really don’t let either one of them (wins/losses) get in your way. You are simply moving as fast as possible to everything and anything to elevate your level of play.

Then there is the people aspect of winning and losing. You feel compelled to share the wins with everyone around you – everyone who had a hand in fostering the win. But the losses you want to keep under the rug or tucked away in a corner where no one ever has to deal with them but you. This is probably not the best idea for my long-term sanity, but it seems to work and really doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it did 10 years ago. Wanting to praise people for the victories and wanting to shield people from the fear of loss/defeat in my mind means I never want anyone to have to experience some of the agonies that I deal with and endure. Sometimes, I think to myself that I wish people around me knew the real beauty of what it is like to run with the blinders on – it can sure make life a whole lot more enjoyable.

Then there are the people who want to talk down about you – yet they never or have never had the guts to talk about anything to you. These are the people that are secretly rooting for your failure. They are the ones, some even who act like friends but deep down inside want to see you blow up into a million pieces because they are so amazed at how miserable at life they have become. They have no problem bashing you to other people or publicly cheering on others who are pitting themselves against you. This is where the blinders go into overdrive. If someone is so upset by what you say and what you do that it consumes them – then they have clearly lost control of their own life, just like a racehorse that never was able to get out of the starting gate.

Running with the blinders on is truly a beautiful way to go through life.  You only care about 2 things: running faster and getting to the finish line.

The more I think about my role and responsibility in my company and in my personal life, one phrase really starts to come to mind. And that is being in the driver’s seat.

Like a race team where you have a team full of people working on a car to make the car be as fast and as competitive as possible, there still can only be one person in the driver’s seat. Being in the driver’s seat for me has always been fun. It’s always been the limelight. It’s always been where all the excitement, fear, anxiety, and success all culminate into one place. That has always been what’s driven me in my career.

But what I’m starting to see in a different light is not just all the things that culminate to the person sitting in the driver’s seat, but the responsibility that comes from all the race team, mechanics, pit crew, everybody relying on the decisions you make to be able to win the race.

Just like a driver is the one who is crowned the race winner, given the checkered flag, and a large trophy to hoist up, the driver doesn’t get there without everybody who makes the car what it is. Those who put the car in a position where it can win a race.

Therefore, it’s up to the driver to properly drive the car and to find ways around the competition, ways to shave time off their lap time, ways to be better, ways to be more effective, and most importantly find ways to not be in a position where you make bad decisions.

As the new year begins, as we’re looking to do bigger and better things than we’ve ever done before as an organization, my mindset has really transpired into what it truly means to be in the driver’s seat and all the responsibility that comes with that.